[ He offers a small nod of appreciation. Goodness, goodness. Are you really going to play this through? I'm really getting worried here. But if I say anything-- Shen Qingqiu can't figure out what has caused Kaoru to be so distressed. It's in everything that she's doing.
Ticking them off in his head, it goes as follows: not linking arms with him (1), not coming in as soon as he opens the door and asking if she can enter (2), not plopping down on the couch and lazing about as soon as she enters (3), keeping herself closed off (4), not immediately asking her question after plopping down on said couch (5).
He closes his eyes before walking over to her to lightly place his hand on top of her head. ]
This teacher is grateful for your reserved nature today. [ As-if! What's up! Did someone do something!? ]
[She reacts to that touch on her head the same way, at least, pushing into it because she's always been weak to gestures like this.
She pouts.]
Come on...I'm not acting that different!
[She's whining. She's just trying to make things seem normal (and failing at it).
Either way, he won't have to keep from asking for too long. She doesn't have the patience for that sort of thing. The pout was gone, and she looked hesitant but also determined, like she's not sure what he'll say but planned to see this through all the way.]
[ He breathes out a small sigh of relief with her normal response to the head-pat. ]
Mmn.
[ A small non-committal noise about how she is and is not acting. That's not the answer I'm looking for. But he certainly is surprised to hear her suddenly ask to be one of his disciples!
What!? Back up a little, what?! ]
Why do you wish to be my disciple? [ Aren't you already really strong?! ]
[ He wants to bring up that she seems to be quite powerful on her own, but the seriousness in her expression stops him. Shen Qingqiu can't say that she needs cultivation to become an even higher-level, but he thinks that it might help her ease some of her anxiety.
His eyes close as he feels like that's the biggest fucking lie he has ever said. I'm constantly stressed all the fucking time. Meditation is supposed to ease that shit. What the fuck? Why does this happen? Fuck you. He isn't certain who he is cursing, but he is cursing them. However, while the calming techniques of centering and controlling his energy did not work for him, he wonders if it could work for others.
But first! ]
Have you been scared for this long? Why did you not say something sooner?
[She cocks her head a little and there's a smile again, wanting to reassure but also just the slightest bit amused. Not because the thought that she could be scared was funny but because...well. It's not like she was even that scared this time?]
I wouldn't say I'm scared...I just hate it when it feels like I can't do anything to help. It's nothing new.
[It's a feeling she's lived with for years now. It's just that usually the feeling of helplessness quickly turns to righteous anger....except when she can't do that.]
[ Shen Qingqiu supposes he understands that. With a high level 99 character unable to help, that has to be frustrating. But doesn't that happen sometimes? Certainly a person would run themselves ragged if they tried to solve every problem that happened.
Nobody @ me!! I'm not the same, okay?! I only worry myself with things I absolutely can fix! ]
What do you mean it's nothing new? [ He makes a gesture for her to finally take a seat. ]
[You are totally the same don't even try to deny it.
She takes a seat at least. Though she has to think. Did she even tell him about Babel? It's kind of strange that she's told him about a whole bunch of other stuff and had still completely forgotten to tell him about her job.]
Where I come from, high level espers tend to work for the government as special espers. [Or else they were criminals, mostly.] We could be handling anything from disaster relief, terrorists, the complaints phone line, investigations or other jobs, depending on what powers we have. And when you're working in the field, especially with disaster relief, there's always going to be times when just having a Level 7 power isn't enough.
[ Rather than stand over her, he takes his seat to her side. Folding his hands in his lap, he decides to forgo messing with his fan as he usually does. ]
That makes sense. [ How much fun would it be if it was just a single person handling all those tasks! ] But that shouldn't be something that is on your shoulders in the first place. Level 7 or no.
[ A little angrier. ] You shouldn't have to be in that situation. It should not have to be something that you are used to, Akashi Kaoru.
[She already knew she wouldn't tell him the specifics if she could avoid it. Now she absolutely knows she won't.
She finally reaches out, but it's not to seek comfort but to pat him on the arm.]
It's just how things are, right now. And Minamoto and the Chief do their best to keep us from the worst cases. [But it's not always possible.] But it's not just something I've accepted. I want to help. The more I do, the more people will realize that they don't need to be afraid of espers. Special espers are the bridge between Normals and espers.
They shouldn't have to be afraid in the first place.
[ What the fuck. There have been plenty of movies, comics, manga, anime on this subject! How the fuck do people still end up being afraid?! He suppose that he understands in part. Normal civilians are in awe of cultivators with their abilities and skills, even they are part of the world they live in and seen as a force generally for good. ]
Nor should you have to act as a bridge. You are obviously good kids. [ He is a grumpy teacher. ]
Thank you. [Because she really is grateful that he worries so much. That he'd be upset on their behalf.] But really, it's okay. I can handle it and it's not like I'm doing it alone.
[She pulls her hand back and settles it on her lap.] So...will you teach me? I promise, I'll work hard!
[ On his face, there is the single phrase: "You shouldn't have to handle it." But he doesn't say it. He turns his head away as he swallows up his anger and lets it upset his stomach instead.
Shen Qingqiu wants to deny her request. He is already teaching Sinistra what he knows about cultivation and it's touching some things he would rather keep buried. But when she tells him of all those things and asks him so honestly. ]
... I will teach you cultivation. [ Is really all he can say. ]
He knows when he's beat -- especially with her linking their arms together and trying to reassure him. This old man isn't happy about it, but since you're working this hard to cheer me up... I'll let it go for now. ]
This teacher will do his best to watch over you as you learn cultivation.
[ Yeah! I'm letting go of your old problems and gonna take on any of your new problems! WHAT UP! ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ He offers a small nod of appreciation. Goodness, goodness. Are you really going to play this through? I'm really getting worried here. But if I say anything-- Shen Qingqiu can't figure out what has caused Kaoru to be so distressed. It's in everything that she's doing.
Ticking them off in his head, it goes as follows: not linking arms with him (1), not coming in as soon as he opens the door and asking if she can enter (2), not plopping down on the couch and lazing about as soon as she enters (3), keeping herself closed off (4), not immediately asking her question after plopping down on said couch (5).
He closes his eyes before walking over to her to lightly place his hand on top of her head. ]
This teacher is grateful for your reserved nature today. [ As-if! What's up! Did someone do something!? ]
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She pouts.]
Come on...I'm not acting that different!
[She's whining. She's just trying to make things seem normal (and failing at it).
Either way, he won't have to keep from asking for too long. She doesn't have the patience for that sort of thing. The pout was gone, and she looked hesitant but also determined, like she's not sure what he'll say but planned to see this through all the way.]
Hey, sensei. Can you take me as a disciple?
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Mmn.
[ A small non-committal noise about how she is and is not acting. That's not the answer I'm looking for. But he certainly is surprised to hear her suddenly ask to be one of his disciples!
What!? Back up a little, what?! ]
Why do you wish to be my disciple? [ Aren't you already really strong?! ]
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But she's actually being serious here so...]
Because I want to become stronger. I don't want to feel helpless when there are people around me who need help.
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His eyes close as he feels like that's the biggest fucking lie he has ever said. I'm constantly stressed all the fucking time. Meditation is supposed to ease that shit. What the fuck? Why does this happen? Fuck you. He isn't certain who he is cursing, but he is cursing them. However, while the calming techniques of centering and controlling his energy did not work for him, he wonders if it could work for others.
But first! ]
Have you been scared for this long? Why did you not say something sooner?
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I wouldn't say I'm scared...I just hate it when it feels like I can't do anything to help. It's nothing new.
[It's a feeling she's lived with for years now. It's just that usually the feeling of helplessness quickly turns to righteous anger....except when she can't do that.]
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Nobody @ me!! I'm not the same, okay?! I only worry myself with things I absolutely can fix! ]
What do you mean it's nothing new? [ He makes a gesture for her to finally take a seat. ]
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She takes a seat at least. Though she has to think. Did she even tell him about Babel? It's kind of strange that she's told him about a whole bunch of other stuff and had still completely forgotten to tell him about her job.]
Where I come from, high level espers tend to work for the government as special espers. [Or else they were criminals, mostly.] We could be handling anything from disaster relief, terrorists, the complaints phone line, investigations or other jobs, depending on what powers we have. And when you're working in the field, especially with disaster relief, there's always going to be times when just having a Level 7 power isn't enough.
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That makes sense. [ How much fun would it be if it was just a single person handling all those tasks! ] But that shouldn't be something that is on your shoulders in the first place. Level 7 or no.
[ A little angrier. ] You shouldn't have to be in that situation. It should not have to be something that you are used to, Akashi Kaoru.
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She finally reaches out, but it's not to seek comfort but to pat him on the arm.]
It's just how things are, right now. And Minamoto and the Chief do their best to keep us from the worst cases. [But it's not always possible.] But it's not just something I've accepted. I want to help. The more I do, the more people will realize that they don't need to be afraid of espers. Special espers are the bridge between Normals and espers.
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[ What the fuck. There have been plenty of movies, comics, manga, anime on this subject! How the fuck do people still end up being afraid?! He suppose that he understands in part. Normal civilians are in awe of cultivators with their abilities and skills, even they are part of the world they live in and seen as a force generally for good. ]
Nor should you have to act as a bridge. You are obviously good kids. [ He is a grumpy teacher. ]
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She smiled at him.]
Thank you. [Because she really is grateful that he worries so much. That he'd be upset on their behalf.] But really, it's okay. I can handle it and it's not like I'm doing it alone.
[She pulls her hand back and settles it on her lap.] So...will you teach me? I promise, I'll work hard!
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Shen Qingqiu wants to deny her request. He is already teaching Sinistra what he knows about cultivation and it's touching some things he would rather keep buried. But when she tells him of all those things and asks him so honestly. ]
... I will teach you cultivation. [ Is really all he can say. ]
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She does link their arms then, because she's grateful and because she wants him to know that she's fine! Really!]
Great! I knew I could count on you, sensei!
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He knows when he's beat -- especially with her linking their arms together and trying to reassure him. This old man isn't happy about it, but since you're working this hard to cheer me up... I'll let it go for now. ]
This teacher will do his best to watch over you as you learn cultivation.
[ Yeah! I'm letting go of your old problems and gonna take on any of your new problems! WHAT UP! ]
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You won't regret it! [If she's being honest, she's still worried but doing something about it makes her feel better already.]